Autism-- Early Detection

Early Detection!
As a parent, you’re in the best position to spot the earliest warning signs of autism.
You know your child better than anyone and observe behaviors and quirks that a pediatrician,
in a quick fifteen-minute visit, might not have the chance to see. Your child’s pediatrician
can be a valuable partner, but don’t discount the importance of your own observations and
experience. The key is to educate yourself so you know what’s normal and what’s not.

 • Monitor your child’s development. Autism involves a variety of developmental delays, so
keeping a close eye on when—or if—your child is hitting the key social, emotional, and
cognitive milestones is an effective way to spot the problem early on. While developmental
delays don’t automatically point to autism, they may indicate a heightened risk.

 • Take action if you’re concerned. Every child develops at a different pace—so you don’t
need to panic if your child is a little late to talk or walk. When it comes to healthy
development, there’s a wide range of “normal.” But if your child is not meeting the milestones
for his or her age, or you suspect a problem, share your concerns with your child’s doctor
immediately. Don’t wait.

 • Don’t accept a wait-and-see approach.  Many concerned parents are told, “Don’t worry” or
“Wait and see.” But waiting is the worst thing you can do. You risk losing valuable time at
an age where your child has the best chance for improvement. Furthermore, whether the delay
is caused by autism or some other factor, developmentally delayed kids are unlikely to simply
“grow out” of their problems. In order to develop skills in an area of delay, your child needs
extra help and targeted treatment.

• Trust your instincts.  Ideally, your child’s doctor will take your concerns seriously and
perform a thorough evaluation for autism or other developmental delays. But sometimes, even
well-meaning doctors miss red flags or underestimate problems. Listen to your gut if it’s telling
you something is wrong and be persistent. Schedule a follow-up appointment with the doctor, seek a
second opinion, or ask for a referral to a child development specialist.


Regression of any kind is a serious autism warning sign

 Some children with autism spectrum disorders start to develop communication skills and then regress, usually between 12 and 24 months. For example, a child who was communicating with words such as “mommy” or “up” may stop using language entirely, or a child may stop playing social games he or she used to enjoy such as peek-a-boo, patty cake, or waving “bye-bye.” Any loss of speech, babbling, gestures, or social skills should be taken very seriously,  as regression is a major red flag for autism.

Signs and symptoms of autism in babies and toddlers

 If autism is caught in infancy, treatment can take full advantage of the young brain’s remarkable
plasticity. Although autism is hard to diagnose before 24 months, symptoms often surface between 12 and 18 months.  If signs are detected by 18 months of age, intensive treatment may help to rewire the brain and reverse the symptoms.
The earliest signs of autism involve the absence of normal behaviors—not the presence of abnormal ones—so they can be tough to spot. In some cases, the earliest symptoms of autism are even misinterpreted as signs of a “good baby,” since the infant may seem quiet, independent, and undemanding. However, you can catch warning signs early if you know what to look for.
Some autistic infants don't respond to cuddling, reach out to be picked up, or look at their mothers
when being fed.

Early Signs of Autism in babies and toddlers

•Doesn’t make eye contact (e.g. look at you when being fed).
•Doesn't smile when smiled at.
•Doesn't respond to his or her name or to the sound of a familiar voice.
•Doesn’t follow objects visually.
•Doesn't point or wave goodbye or use other gestures to communicate.
•Doesn’t follow the gesture when you point things out.
•Doesn’t make noises to get your attention.
•Doesn’t initiate or respond to cuddling.
•Doesn’t imitate your movements and facial expressions.
•Doesn’t reach out to be picked up.
•Doesn’t play with other people or share interest and enjoyment.
•Doesn’t ask for help or make other basic requests.

The following delays warrant an immediate evaluation by your child's pediatrician.
*By 6 months: No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions.
• By 9 months: No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions.
• By 12 months: Lack of response to name.
• By 12 months: No babbling or “baby talk.”
• By 12 months: No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving.
• By 16 months:  No spoken words.
• By 24 months: No meaningful two-word phrases that don’t involve imitating or repeating.

Signs and symptoms of autism in Older children
As children get older, the red flags for autism become more diverse. There are many warning
signs and symptoms, but they typically revolve around impaired social skills, speech and language
difficulties, non-verbal communication difficulties, and inflexible behavior.
Basic social interaction can be difficult for children with autism spectrum disorders. Many kids
on the autism spectrum seem to prefer to live in their own world, aloof and detached from others.
•Appears disinterested or unaware of other people or what’s going on around them.
•Doesn’t know how to connect with others, play, or make friends.
•Prefers not to be touched, held, or cuddled.
•Doesn’t play "pretend" games, engage in group games, imitate others, or use toys in creative ways.
•Has trouble understanding or talking about feelings.
•Doesn’t seem to hear when others talk to him or her.
•Doesn't share interests or achievements with others (drawings, toys).
Children with autism spectrum disorders have difficulty with speech and language. Often, they start talking late.
•Speaks in an abnormal tone of voice, or with an odd rhythm or pitch (e.g. ends every sentence as if asking a question).
•Repeats the same words or phrases over and over.
•Responds to a question by repeating it, rather than answering it.
•Refers to themselves in the third person.
•Uses language incorrectly (grammatical errors, wrong words).
•Has difficulty communicating needs or desires.
•Doesn’t understand simple directions, statements, or questions.
•Takes what is said too literally (misses undertones of humor, irony, and sarcasm).
Children with autism spectrum disorders have trouble picking up on subtle nonverbal cues and using body
language. This makes the "give-and-take" of social interaction very difficult.
•Avoids eye contact.
•Uses facial expressions that don't match what he or she is saying.
•Doesn’t pick up on other people’s facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures.
•Makes very few gestures (such as pointing). May come across as cold or “robot-like.”
•Reacts unusually to sights, smells, textures, and sounds. May be especially sensitive to loud noises.
•Abnormal posture, clumsiness, or eccentric ways of moving (e.g. walking exclusively on tiptoe).
Children with autism spectrum disorders are often restricted, inflexible, and even obsessive in their behaviors,
activities, and interests.
•Follows a rigid routine (e.g. insists on taking a specific route to school).
•Has difficulty adapting to any changes in schedule or environment (e.g. throws a tantrum if the furniture is
rearranged or bedtime is at a different time than usual).
•Unusual attachments to toys or strange objects such as keys, light switches, or rubber bands.
•Obsessively lines things up or arranges them in a certain order.
•Preoccupation with a narrow topic of interest, often involving numbers or symbols (e.g. memorizing and reciting
facts about maps, train schedules, or sports statistics).
•Spends long periods of time arranging toys in specific ways, watching moving objects such as a ceiling fan, or
focusing on one specific part of an object such as the wheels of a toy car.
•Repeats the same actions or movements over and over again, such as flapping hands, rocking, or twirling
(known as self-stimulatory behavior, or “stimming”). Some researchers and clinicians believe that these behaviors
may soothe children with autism more than stimulate them.

Common Self-stimulatory behaviors
•Hand flapping
•Rocking back and forth
•Spinning in a circle
•Finger flicking
•Head banging
•Staring at lights
•Moving fingers in front of the eyes
•Snapping fingers
 •Tapping ears
•Scratching
•Lining up toys
•Spinning objects
•Wheel spinning
•Watching moving objects
•Flicking light switches on and off
•Repeating words or noises
Prenatal factors that may contribute to autism:
Taking antidepressants during pregnancy, especially in the first 3 months 
• Nutritional deficiencies early in pregnancy, particularly not getting enough folic acid
• The age of the mother  (children born to older fathers also have a higher risk of autism)
• Complications at or shortly after birth,  including very low birth weight and neonatal anemia
• Maternal infections during pregnancy
• Exposure to chemical pollutants, such as metals and pesticides, while pregnant

Autism

safe medicaitons while pregnant

Problem	Safe to take
Heartburn, gas and bloating, upset stomach	Antacids for heartburn (Maalox, Mylanta, Rolaids, Tums) Simethicone for gas pains (Gas-X, Maalox Anti-Gas, Mylanta Gas, Mylicon)
Cough or cold	Guaifenesin, an expectorant (Hytuss, Mucinex, Naldecon Senior EX, Robitussin) Dextromethorphan, a cough suppressant (Benylin Adult, Robitussin Maximum Strength Cough, Scot-Tussin DM, Vicks 44 Cough Relief) Guaifenesin plus dextromethorphan (Benylin Expectorant, Robitussin DM, Vicks 44E) Cough drops Vicks VapoRub Not safe to take: Cold remedies that contain alcohol The decongestants pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine, which can affect blood flow to the placenta
Pain relief,headache, and fever	Acetaminophen (Anacin Aspirin-Free, Tylenol)
Allergy relief	Chlorpheniramine, an antihistamine (Chlor-Trimeton allergy tablets) Loratadine, an antihistamine (Alavert, Claritin, Tavist ND, Triaminic Allerchews) Diphenhydramine, an antihistamine (Banophen, Benadryl, Diphenhist, Genahist)
Constipation,hemorrhoids, and diarrhea	Psyllium (Konsyl-D, Metamucil, Modane Bulk, Perdiem) Polycarbophil (Equalactin, Fiber-Lax, FiberNorm, Konsyl-Fiber, Mitrolan) Methylcellulose (Citrucel, Unifiber) Other laxatives and stool softeners (Colace, Dulcolax, Maltsupex, milk of magnesia) Hemorrhoid creams (Anusol, Preparation H, Tucks) Loperamide, anti-diarrhea medication (Imodium, Kaopectate II, Maalox Anti-Diarrheal, Pepto Diarrhea Control)
Yeast infectionsand other fungal infections such as athlete's foot	Clotrimazole (Cruex, Gyne-Lotrimin 3, Lotrimin AF, Mycelex 7) Miconazole (Desenex, Femizol-M, Micatin, Monistat 3) Terbinafine (Lamisil AT) Tioconazole (Monistat 1, Vagistat 1) Butoconazole (Femstat 3, Mycelex 3) Butenafine (Lotrimin Ultra) Tolnaftate (Absorbine Athlete's Foot Cream, Absorbine Footcare, Genaspor, Tinactin) Undecylenic Acid and derivatives (Cruex, Desenex, Fungi Cure, Tinacide) Not safe to take: Certain antifungal products not listed here (Certain Cruex, Desenex, and Fungi Cure products may contain other antifungal agents not listed here that should not be used during pregnancy. Check labels carefully.)
Insomnia	Diphenhydramine (Benadryl, Maximum Strength Unisom SleepGels, Nytol, Sominex) Doxylamine succinate (Unisom Nighttime Sleep-Aid)
Itching	Hydrocortisone (Cortaid, Lanacort)
Cuts and scrapes	Polysporin

Labial Adhesion

Today, I took my daughter in for her 9 month check up. Everything was great. She's healthy and on track with her development and growth. However, she has what is known as a labial adhesion. Since I had zero clue as to what this was, I have decided to research it and do a blog entry on it to not only inform myself but other Mommies and Mommy to be's as well.

• What is a labial adhesion?

Labial adhesions are a sticking together of the outer lips (labia) of the vulva. The vulva is the area outside of the vagina.This type of adhesion occurs most commonly in girls who are between 3 months to 6 years of age, and can persist until puberty.

• Signs and symptoms of labial adhesions

Some children with labial adhesions will have no symptoms, while others may have pain in the genital area, difficulty urinating, or frequent urinary tract (bladder) infections. The diagnosis is made by looking at the vulvar area and observing that the vaginal opening is either partially or fully covered by the labia with a white line indicating the adhesion. If your daughter is having symptoms such as pain, particularly when she is in a straddle position (for example, while sitting on a riding toy), or having trouble passing urine, you may have discovered that her labia appears to be stuck together. If your daughter has not had any symptoms, her health care provider may have noted the adhesions during a routine well-child check.

• What causes labial adhesions?

It is not clear why some young girls develop labial adhesions. It is thought that low levels of estrogen (that girls normally have during childhood) and vulvar irritation can result in the labia sticking together. Labial adhesion can develop as early as 6 to 8 weeks after birth.

Baby girls who have just been born don’t have labial adhesions because of high levels of estrogen passed on from the mother during pregnancy. Similarly, high levels of estrogen from puberty make it very unlikely for girls who are menstruating to develop adhesions.

• Treatment for labial adhesions

Whether or not treatment is recommended depends on how severe the adhesions are.

Small or mild adhesions do not cover the vaginal opening and may separate by themselves when your daughter reaches puberty or earlier. Your daughter’s health care provider will continue to watch how your daughter’s labia appear over time, and may recommend treatment if the adhesions get worse or cause symptoms.

Slightly larger or moderate adhesions that cover the lower part of the vagina may be treated with a mild emollient, such as A & D ointment®, along with gentle separation twice a day over several weeks.

Significant adhesions that cover the vaginal opening, and often the urinary opening as well, can be effectively treated with anestrogen-containing cream. These adhesions may prevent drainage of normal vaginal secretions, as well as impair the flow of urine. Sometimes this will cause urine to collect in the lower vagina, behind the adhesion, and can lead to irritation or dribbling of urine after your daughter stops urinating. If she develops a fever, it will not be possible to collect a clean urine specimen to see if she has a urinary tract infection. The most effective treatment for significant adhesions is an estrogen-containing cream applied twice daily for a period of time or until the adhesions resolve. This treatment requires a prescription from her health care provider.

Here is a photo depicting what each looks like:

My daughter is having to do the estrogen cream although her urethra is not covered to my knowledge. We will have to do it twice a day for two weeks or until the adhesion resolves. Then we will have to continuously apply Vaseline to that area.

• How will I know if the estrogen cream is working and is it safe to use?

Over time small openings will appear in the white line as the adhesion gradually disappears. Yes. Estrogen-containing creams are safe to use for the treatment of labial adhesions. Only a very small amount of estrogen cream will be used, for a limited amount of time. A few girls who are treated with estrogen cream may develop temporary small breast buds or darkening of the labia. Both of these conditions are not dangerous, and will go away once treatment is stopped. You should make an appointment with your daughter’s health care provider as soon as the (labial) separation is complete so you can stop the estrogen treatment and change to Vaseline® or A & D ointment®. If you are pregnant or worries about absorbing any estrogen, you can use medical type gloves (which you can buy in most pharmacies) while applying the estrogen cream.

• What if treatment doesn't work?

Reasons that the treatment fails may include applying the cream all over the vulva, instead of focusing just on the adhesion area or not applying enough cream. It is possible but rare that very thick adhesions won’t respond to treatment, even if the right amount of cream is used in the right area. If your daughter’s adhesions do not improve with the estrogen cream, you should discuss other treatment options with her health care provider. Some girls have success with a short course of steroid ointment.

• Is treatment necessary once the adhesions open up?

Labial adhesions can recur or come back, even after they open up. Once the labia are separated, Vaseline or A & D ointment is used as an emollient for 6-12 months to keep the labia open and prevent or lessen irritation of the vulva area.

Ways to help keep your daughter’s labia open:

1. Have her take a daily tub bath
2. After her bath, pat dry her vulva area with a soft towel
3. Apply a thin amount of A & D ointment to her dry labia

Harsh soaps, scrubbing the vulva, and tight clothing should be avoided.

Try to be patient with the course of treatment which can last up to several weeks, and possibly require additional follow-up visits to your daughter’s health care provider (HCP). If the labial adhesions come back, do not restart the estrogen cream again unless you have discussed this with her HCP.

Sources: Young Women's Health

Some of the Main Birth Control Options

Birth Control Options
Choosing between pills? Hormonal or Non Hormonal?
Here is a big list Of Birth Control Options..
Abstinence--- haha Funny but still had to say :)

Pull Out Method-- If used correctly can be great Birth Control
but you HAVE to know your cycle perfectly!!

Condoms-- They do have a male(most commonly used) and Female(Femy,Protectiv, Reality)

Birth Control Pills-- (Estrostep Fe, LoEstrin 1/20, Orth-Novum 7/7/7,
Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo, Yasmin, Yaz) This birth control mainstay is still
  99% effective against pregnancy when taken around the same time every
  day. It's also known for easing hot flashes and restoring regular periods.

Progestin-only Pill-- (Micronor, Nora-BE, Nor-QD, Ovrette)Known as the
  mini pill, progestin-only meds don't contain estrogen. They're safer
  for smokers, diabetics, and heart disease patients, as well as those at
  risk for blood clots. They also won't reduce the milk supply for women
  who are breast-feeding.
Extended-cycle Pill-- (Lybrel, Seasonale, Seasonique) These pills
  prevent pregnancy and allow you to have a period only every three
  months. (Note: Lybrel stops your period for a year, but you must
  take a pill every day, year-round.)
Vaginal Ring-- (Nuva Ring) What is does: The ring is made of flexible
  plastic and delivers estrogen and progestin, just like the combination
  pill. You place the ring in your vagina for three weeks, and then remove
  it for one week so that you have a regular period.
Diaphragm-- (Milex Wide Seal, Ortho All-Flex, Semina, SILCS)
  What it does: Made of rubber and shaped like a dome, a diaphragm prevents
  sperm from fertilizing an egg. It covers the cervix and must always be used
  with a spermicide. Women must be fitted for a diaphragm in their doctor's office.
IUD--(Mirena, ParaGard) What it does: ParaGard is a surgically implanted copper
  device that prevents sperm from reaching the egg. Mirena, also surgically implanted,
  works by releasing hormones. Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are more than 99% effective
  and good for 10 years.
Patch-- (Ortho Evra) What it does: You can place the hormone-releasing patch on your
  arm, buttock, or abdomen, and rest easy for one week.

Implant--(Implanon, Norplant)  What it does: About the size of a matchstick, the implant
  is placed under the skin on your upper arm. Implants last for three years and can cost
  up to $800. They are nearly 100% effective
Sterilization-- (Essure, Tubal Ligation, Vasectomy)  What it does: Women can undergo either
  tubal ligation, a surgical procedure that blocks the fallopian tubes from carrying eggs
  to the uterus, or tubal implants (Essure), a nonsurgical technique in which a small coil
  is inserted into the fallopian tubes. The sterilization process is less risky for men: A
  vasectomy is a minor surgery in which the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles are cut.

Common Side Effects
Birth Control
BIRTH CONTROL AND RISKS!!!

TOP 10 REASONS WHY YOU’RE NOT LOSING WEIGHT EATING LCHF

Too Many Carbohydrates – are carbs starting to sneak back into your diet? Be honest and start tracking everything using My Fitness Pal. A little treat here and there adds up. Some are more carb sensitive (or insulin resistant) than others. I know that my carbs have to be around 50g/day to be feeling great and in control of my appetite. Lower than that and I will lose a little bit of weight, above that and I know my weight loss will stall. I generally go between 35-70g/day without too much tracking because I have done it for so long.

1. Too Much Fruit – yes I use berries on my breakfast and desserts, but that is it. I allow my children to eat fruit (without gorging) as their nutrition value, far outweighs their carb content. But this is only because my children are healthy, active and don’t need to lose weight. For me, the sugar and fructose in fruit is too much. Sure, enjoy it as a treat and eat only low carb nutritent dense berries. See fruit as an occasional sweet treat. Packed with fibre, antioxidants, nutrients………
2. Too much Dairy – my biggest downfall is milk. I can drink it by the glass full. Now milk is great, full of protein and calcium, but it also contains about 5% carbs. A average glass of milk can be 250ml which is 12.5g carbs – quite a lot, especially if you have a glass or 2 a day. Most dairy does contain around 5% but you are more likely to drink a large glass of milk than eat 250g of full fat cheese. Go back and track just how much cheese, cream, milk, yogurt and other dairy products you are having. Dairy products also contain a lot of protein, which can (via gluconeogenesis) turn into glucose in the body.
3. Nuts – this was my other mistake. Snacking on too many nuts, too often. Nuts are a great source of fibre, omega 3, selenium. Also watch which nuts you consume. Cashews are the worst for carbohydrates, about 20%. Also make sure your nut mix doesn’t contain any dried fruit. The trail mixes are the worst. Measure out a small dish of nuts and make them last for the day. Buy nuts in their shells so it takes longer to eat them.
4. Not Enough Fat – yes, to lose weight you need to eat more fat. I got to the point where nothing was working for me to loose weight, so I thought “I’ve tried everything else, why not?”. It was the best thing I ever did. Honestly, by eating more fat, I have lost my appetite. I have to admit that I snack on butter slices when cooking dinner, or have a spoon of coconut cream to take the edge off my hunger, best of all – a creamy coffee. Don’t fear the fat.
5. Too Many Artificial Sweeteners – I believe diet drinks have a place in weight loss, but certainly not long term. I see them at the start to get over my sugar cravings and to fill up when I was hungry but they should be of short term use. I also use them in my baking and desserts, but I don’t make desserts and sweet treats a huge part of my life anymore. The whole point is to get off the sugar and the sweet treats. Artificial sweeteners can affect appetite and make you think that if a recipe contains them, then it’s OK to eat more. If your weight loss has stopped, stop the diet drinks and see how you go.
6. Eating Too Often or Eating Too Little – some say you should snack little and often throughout the day. You need to learn what real hunger feels like and actually get used to the fact that being hungry is actually OK. The other extreme is to eat too little, you become so starving that you end up eating something you know you shouldn’t and sting far too much of it. Eat when you really think you need a meal, and make it nutritious. If all you want is a sweet treat, but not real food, then its probably a craving and not hunger. Cravings are a sign of insulin resistance, learn to resist them, reset your metabolism, you will finally gain control of your appetite.
7. Be Patient– this has to be the hardest lesson to learn. I was really strict with LCHF, and for the first couple of months, I lost hardly anything. This is hard when every time I went on weight watchers, the kilos drop off. But that weight loss was never sustainable. I am still loosing weight now, probably half a kilo every month. This will probably stop soon as your body finds its own natural weight, and my carb intake needs to be realistic that I can continue. Keep reminding yourself that your way of eating now is so more nutritious than when you ate carbs and processed foods. The weight WILL go, you WILL gain control of your appetite, and you WILL succeed.
8. Lack of Sleep – lack of sleep and increased stress are critical to weight loss and wellbeing.
9. Caffeine – caffeine is a stimulant which increases you adrenaline (short term hormone that gets you out of danger – “fight or flight”). It stimulates the liver to release glucose from its glycogen stores. What happens next? This new high level of glucose causes insulin to be released again, fat gets stored and fat burning turns off. If weight loss has stopped, can’t sleep, too stressed, stop the caffeine. You don’t have to give up your coffee, but just has a decaffeinated coffee and see how you feel.

Foundation to a Good Relationship

“A house must be built on solid foundations if it is to last. The same principle applies to man” - Sai Baba

Having a happy and successful relationship is not necessarily easy. It takes work. The two people in the relationship need to be committed to giving 100% of themselves. So, what does it take to have a solid foundation for a healthy relationship?

• Laugh Together

“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either”. - Wayne Dyer

Laughter is a choice. By choosing to laugh with your partner,  it shows that you enjoy each others company, feel positive towards one another and actually “like” each other. Choose to make your partner laugh at least once a day.

• Know each other's love language

“We must be willing to learn our spouses love language if we are to be effective communicators of love” - Dr Gary Chapman

Love languages are the different ways we communicate and understand love. We all have different love languages. Love languages can be as different as English and Chinese, so it is important to understand each other's love language. The 5 typical love languages are: 

1. Words of Affirmation

Phrases such as "I love being in love with you.", "Thank you for always being there for me.", "You look beautiful/handsome today.", and "I don't know what I would do without you." 

2. Quality Time

Simply watching a movie, talking, taking a walk together, or any other small activity where it is just the two of you being with each other.

3. Receiving Gifts

It doesn't have to be expensive. A card, some flowers, anything that simply says, "You were on my mind and I appreciate you."

4. Acts of Service

Taking out the trash, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, etc. Something that may seem small and insignificant but will make them appreciate your help and efforts.

5. Physical Touch

This does not just mean sex. It means holding hands, kissing, hugging, back rubs, etc. Any small physical interaction can mean so much to your partner.

Here is an example of understanding your partners love language: 

• If your love language is physical touch, a kiss will speak louder than 1000 words – but,

• If your love language is words of affirmation, one kind or affirming word will speak louder than 1000 kisses.

Although you may be showing your partner love in every way you know how, it may not be enough. You need to understand their love language.

• Understand Love as an Action

“Love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb” – Stephen Covey

Love is an action. 

Love is understanding how your partner feels loved, and then doing it.

People often think that love is a feeling, and that once the feeling disappears – there is little hope for their relationship. That is absolutely not the case. 

When you choose to love your partner (even if they didn’t do anything to deserve it), you are showing them real love. Love, that is unconditional and that does not rely on them loving you first.

If you view love solely as a feeling, you will wait for a long time and still not "feel" it. Love is a feeling, but it is also a choice. A choice that has to be backed up with action.

• Don't cross the line.

There are certain things you should never say or do to your partner. Crossing the line may include:

1. Losing your temper.

Obviously, we all get angry. The important thing is how you handle the anger. Talk a walk, go into another room, give each other some space for a little bit so you can cool down.

2. Yelling or screaming at your partner.

This can make them angry or even sad. It can make them feel like a child being scolded. You should never attempt to talk to your partner while angry. Cool down, then discuss the issue calmly.

3. Saying "I hate you."

There are some things you can not take back regardless if you meant it or not in the heat of the moment. This is one of those things. While your partner may "forgive" you, it will always be in a corner of their mind.

4. Calling your partner unkind names.

This is pretty self explanatory. It belittles them and makes them feel less than they should. You should NEVER call your partner anything outside of their name.

5. Using manipulation to get what you want.

When you manipulate, you use a form of lying. This breaks trust overtime.

6. Getting aggressive toward your partner.

It is never okay for either of you, man or woman, to lay your hands on your partner. This is abusive and what may have been a healthy relationship crosses the line into an unhealthy relationship. NEVER argue while angry. Calm down and try to discuss the issue once both parties are calm and collected.

Once you begin crossing the line, it becomes easier and easier to do it over and over again.

• Apologize often.

“In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes” - John Ruskin

Love is not prideful.

We all make mistakes. We are human. Do not make the mistake of being proud. Apologize so you can move past what it is that needs apology to begin with.

• Trust

"Love is weakest when there is more doubt than trust, but love is strongest when we learn to trust in spite of the doubts."--Unknown

Be completely honest with each other to begin with. Discuss past issues with each other by listening and keeping an open mind. Be truthful in even the smallest situation. Give your partner trust and try not to question or doubt whether they are being truthful with you. 

• Communication

"Communication is the life line of any relationship. Without it, the relationship will starve itself to death." --Elizabeth Bourgeret

Communication is a necessity in a relationship. You should always be respectful in how you communicate with your partner.

What is a Blighted Ovum??

Do you think you could have a Blighted Ovum? Here is some Symptoms!


A blighted ovum can occur very early in pregnancy, before most women
even know that they are pregnant. You may experience signs of pregnancy
such as a missed or late menstrual period and even a positive pregnancy
test. Many women assume their pregnancies are on track because their hCG
levels are increasing. The placenta can continue to grow and support itself
without a baby for a short time, and pregnancy hormones can continue to rise,
which would lead a woman to believe she is still pregnant. A diagnosis is usually
not made until an ultrasound test shows either an empty womb or an empty
gestational sac.  It is possible that you may have minor abdominal cramps, minor
vaginal spotting or bleeding.

What can cause a Blighted Ovum??


A blighted ovum is the cause of about 50% of first trimester miscarriages and is
usually the result of chromosomal problems. A woman’s body recognizes abnormal
chromosomes in a fetus and naturally does not try to continue the pregnancy because
the fetus will not develop into a healthy baby. This can be caused by abnormal cell
division, or poor quality sperm or egg.


What should you do in case of a Blighted Ovum??


It is really up to you! You can either have a D & C or you could Pass it on your own!
It is believed that a woman’s body is capable of passing tissue on its own and there
is no need for an invasive surgical procedure with a risk of complications. A D&C would
however be beneficial if you were planning on having a pathologist examine the tissues
to determine a reason for the miscarriage. Some women feel a D&C procedure helps with
closure, mentally and physically. Others feel like a D&C is an invasive procedure that
can make the loss more traumatic.


Can a Blighted Ovum be Prevented??

Unfortunately, in most cases a blighted ovum cannot be prevented.  Some couples will seek
out genetic testing if multiple early pregnancy loss occurs. A blighted ovum is often a one
time occurrence, and rarely will a woman experience more than one. Most doctors recommend
couples wait at least 1-3 regular menstrual cycles before trying to conceive again after
any type of miscarriage.

American Pregnancy-Blighted Ovum

Signs of labour

How will I know when I'm in labour?

Every woman's experience of labour is different. You may only be able to work out when labour truly started after you've been through it! However, changes that take place in pre-labour and early labour may cause tell-tale signs and symptoms that labour is imminent.

In pre-labour or early labour (the latent phase), you may have: 

• Persistent lower back pain or abdominal pain, with a pre-menstrual feeling and cramps.
• Painful contractions or tightenings that may be irregular in strength and frequency and may stop and start.
• Broken waters. Your membranes may rupture with a gush or a trickle of amniotic fluid. Although this can happen long before labour starts, you should still, call your maternity unit to let them know.
• A brownish or blood-tinged mucus discharge (bloody show). If you pass the mucus plug that blocks the cervix, labour could start soon, or in a few days. It's a sign that things are moving along.
• An upset tummy or loose bowels.
• A period of feeling emotional, excited or moody. You might feel restless, anxious or impatient.
• Disrupted sleep.

As there can be overlap between pre-labour and the start of labour itself, it's possible to confuse the symptoms of the two . How you'll feel in the pre-labour or early labour phases depends on: 

• Whether you've had a baby before.
• How you perceive and respond to pain.
• How prepared you are for what going into labour may be like.

Can I tell if labour is about to happen soon?

Maybe. There's a lot of overlap between the symptoms of late pregnancy and pre-labour, which is the time just before you go into the early first stage of labour. Signs that the birth may be on its way include: 

• Lightening, when your baby's head drops into an engaged position in your pelvis. You may be able to breathe more deeply and eat more, but you'll also need to wee more frequently, and walking may be more difficult.
• Heavier vaginal discharge with more mucus.
• More frequent and, possibly, noticeably more intense Braxton Hicks contractions.
• Mood swings.
• A sudden urge to clean or bring order to your home!

What should I do in early labour?

The early phase of the first stage of labour is when your cervix dilates to 4cm. The best thing to do during this time will depend on what time of day it is, what you like doing, and how you're feeling. Keeping calm and relaxed will help your body to release the hormone, oxytocin, that you need for your labour to progress. It can help you to cope with the contractions or tightenings. Do whatever will help you to stay relaxed. 

This could mean watching your favourite film, going for a walk, pottering around at home, or asking a friend or relative over to keep you company. You could alternate between walking and resting, or try taking a warm bath or shower to ease any aches and pains. If you can, try to get some rest to prepare you for the work ahead. 

During early labour, you may feel hungry, so eat and drink if you feel like it . Nibble on small amounts of high-energy foods to keep you going. This will help to comfort you and may even help your labour to progress more smoothly.

Early labour is a good time to try out different positions, breathing techniques and visualisations to see if they help you to cope with contractions. If you've got a TENS machine, early labour is the time to use it. It’s unlikely to help if you wait until you’re in active labour before you start using it.

How will I know when I've moved into active labour?

If you're planning to have your baby in a hospital or birth centre, the active phase of the first stage of labour is the time to go. This is where your cervix dilates from 4cm to 10cm. For many women, the main sign is painful, regular contractions. These gradually become more frequent, longer, and stronger in intensity.

Your midwife may have told you what to expect, such as contractions coming at least every five minutes and lasting at least a minute. However, for some women, labour progresses well without following a "textbook" pattern.

Listen to your body and watch out for how you're feeling. As labour intensifies, you're likely to talk less. You'll find holding a conversation during a contraction more difficult. You may notice that you have to pause as each surge builds, leaning forward and rocking your pelvis to help you through it. 

As your labour progresses, you may start to turn your awareness inward, focusing in on each contraction and using your breath to help you to cope. You might start "sighing" out from the start of each contraction.

As your labour gets stronger, your appetite is likely to wane, and you may feel hot and anxious. You may also and start to feel less inhibited and care less about what you're doing. This may help you to demand exactly what you need to help you cope!

When should I call my midwife?

You've probably talked to your midwife about what to do when you think you're in active labour. But if you're not sure whether the time has come, don't be embarrassed to call. Midwives are used to getting calls from women who are uncertain if they're in early labour or active labour, and who need guidance. It's part of their job. 

The midwife will want to hear about what you've been experiencing, particularly how close together your contractions are. She'll be able to tell a lot by the tone of your voice and how you respond to a contraction, so talking helps. 

It's not always possible for a midwife to accurately judge whether active labour has started over the phone. If you're using hypnosis or deep relaxation you may sound as though you're in an earlier stage than you are. That's why it's important to trust what your body is telling you as well as being guided by your midwife. 

If you're planning to have your baby in hospital or in a birth centre, you may not need to go in straight away. Instead, your midwife may give you some coping tips and advise you to stay at home until contractions become more frequent and stronger. Depending on what's available locally, she may arrange for a midwife to visit you at home, or ask you to come in so she canassess your labour.

Trust your instincts on when you think it's the right time to leave the house or call in the midwife. This may mean ignoring pressure from your partner, mum, or whoever else is with you, until you feel it's the right time to go. 

If you're going to hospital or a birth centre, always phone before setting off, as your chosen unit may be busy. If that's the case, the staff may ask you to stay home a bit longer or direct you to another unit. It's a good idea to prepare for this possibility so that it's not such a big disappointment if it happens to you. 

Ask your midwife how often your chosen unit has to divert women in labour and which unit they are usually sent to instead. Plan your route to your chosen unit and back up unit, perhaps even rehearsing the journey and checking out the parking at each one in the weeks leading up to your due date. This can take some of the anxiety out of the trip when you're in labour. 

When deciding when it’s time to leave, bear in mind that it can be harder to move as your contractions get longer, stronger and more frequent. Getting from your front door into your car may take a while as you pause for each contraction. 

Once your midwife sees you and can confirm you're in active labour, she will admit you to the labour ward, or stay with you if you're having a home birth. If she thinks you're in early labour, she's likely to encourage you to go home until you're in active labour. Her decision will depend on how you're coping and whether you've got a birth partner to give you good support. 

You should contact your midwife or doctor if: 

• Your baby's moving less than usual.
• Your waters break, or you suspect you're leaking amniotic fluid, so that you and your baby can be checked over.
• You have vaginal bleeding (unless it's just a small amount after a membrane sweep or the blood-tinged mucus of the show).
• You have a severe headache, changes in your vision, or sudden swelling of the face, hands or feet.

See our list of other pregnancy symptoms you shouldn't ignore, in case anything else is worrying you. 

You and your partner could also watch our video on how to help you understand pregnancy strains.

Can I have contractions and not be in labour?

Yes. You can have pre-labour contractions (Braxton Hicks). These help your cervix to go through the changes it needs to before it starts to dilate. Your cervix usually points towards your back, but as you start to dilate is will move forward. It will also be getting shorter and thinner (softening and effacing). 

These changes may take place over the last few weeks of your pregnancy without you noticing. Alternatively, you may experience hours or days of cramps or contractions. These may be helping the early changes in your cervix to progress, even though they may not be dilating your cervix yet. 

Your midwife can confirm whether your cervix has started to change by carrying out a vaginal examination. At your 40-week appointment your cervix may be firm and unyielding, while at the next appointment it may be "paper thin" and starting to open. 

If your baby has his head down but his back to your back (occipito-posterior position), it can take longer for his head to engage and for labour to start. Your contractions may be erratic and low in intensity, and you may have backache.

If your baby is back-to-back, getting onto all fours on your hands and knees, for half an hour or so now and again may help to relieve your backache. All-fours, forward leaning and lunge positions may also help your baby to turn to a better position for birth.

Your midwife will advise you about ways to cope at home until labour becomes stronger. You could take a dose of paracetamol, or try a warm bath or massage to relieve the pain. 

A long and uncomfortable pre-labour and early labour phase can be challenging. You may find that you need a different kind of support to the often-repeated advice to stay at home and use self-help. You may want to phone the labour ward again and go in for an assessment. The doctors there may prescribe you extra painkillers if you need them.



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