Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Things Pregnant Women Hate to Hear

Apparently people do not seem to understand that pregnancy is already an emotional and stressful time without all their horrible comments and stupid jokes. Sadly, most of the people making comments or jokes are women with children, which means they have already been in your shoes. They like to tell horror stories, make jokes, and overall just make you want to cut their head off with an ax or suddenly wish you had laser vision so that hole your trying to glare through them would actually appear. (I kid, I kid, kinda) So, here are some things that women hate to hear while pregnant!!!!
  • "Oh my God, my labor was terrible. The absolute worst pain ever!"
Well, thanks ma'am. As if I were not already terrified enough of a tiny human coming through that small hole and possibly ripping me in half, please continue to tell me how terrible and horrific your labor process was!!!!

 Pain is different for everyone. So little Momma's just remember that what may have been one person's horrific experience, will not necessarily be yours!!!!
  • "I only gained 12 pounds during my pregnancy. All I craved was healthy food. Salads, fruits, (blah blah blah)."
Good for you, meanwhile I'm over here like "Oh, I gained that much too. Then add about 12 more pounds for my first child and 15 more for my second. *eye roll*"

 Everyone is different. Cravings are different. Body types are different. Weight gain is different. While Susie Healthy Pants only craved salads, fruits, etc, you may crave fattening, greasy foods like cheeseburgers. Of course while you should eat as healthy as possible, a cheeseburger here and there is okay as well. 
  • "You're bump is getting bigger everyday!!!!"
Hmmm, like I didn't notice my skin stretching to the point of ripping. This statement goes hand in hand with "You look like you're about to pop" and "You look due any day now." I heard this from about 20 weeks on. Every single time, I would look at them and say, "I know I resemble a beached whale. Thanks for making my day by pointing it out." (Pregnancy hormones were not my friend. LOL)

  • "How long are you planning to breastfeed/pump?"
None of your business. Is she breastfeeding or pumping breast-milk for you? No? Oh okay then, please stop being nosy.

Thankfully, I didn't get asked that. However, its cousin question reared its ugly head numerous times. "Are you going to breastfeed or bottle-feed?" Again, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. People really have no idea how fast a pregnant woman can get mad about absolutely nothing. LOL

  • "Are you suppose to be eating that/drinking that/doing that?"
The only time these questions even make any sense to ask is if a pregnant woman is smoking or drinking alcohol. Tread lightly when you ask a pregnant woman these things. While you may only be concerned, said pregnant woman may think you are insinuating that she is purposely doing something that may harm her unborn child. Eventually, laser vision may become a superpower pregnant women develop....

  • "When I get pregnant, I'm going to......"
Ehhhhhhh (buzzer sound) wrong!!!! Sound the sirens because a natural disaster is about to happen!!!! Pregnant woman exploding in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....

No but seriously, be quiet. If you have NEVER even been pregnant, you have no idea what you are going to do when you DO get pregnant. You have no clue how this pregnancy will be even if you HAVE been pregnant before. So, it is safer to just not even go there.

  • "How are you feeling?"
A simple, seemingly friendly question. But here's a hint as to why we get tired of it....

The answer is ALWAYS the same. No matter how awesome we may feel, we are still pregnant. Pregnancy is exhausting. Walking from the couch to the bathroom every 5 minutes tires us out. Not only is it physically exhausting, it is mentally exhausting. Laser vision for everyone!!!! Even when we are happy, we cry. Sad? Cry. Angry? Cry. We feel like a huge whale and are absolutely uncomfortable in our own body. So, proceed with caution with this "friendly" question.

  • "Get all the sleep you can now!"
Yes, we are well aware of the fact that we will NEVER again get sleep. Stop reminding us. Especially if you have no children and can sleep whenever you want. Or if you are a man. If you are already a Mom, then we can talk.

  • "Enjoy doing things while you still can."
If you are implying that I can't do things once I have a child, well then you would be wrong. I have two and still manage to do some of the things I did before having any. Reading, watching a movie, etc. Yes, I may not have near as much time as I use to but that's okay. If I can't take my children with me, that may be a hint that I shouldn't be doing what I am going to do. 


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