Tips to Improve Your Relationship

I'm sure we all like to think our relationship is perfect, but let's face it, there is ALWAYS room for improvement somewhere. No one is perfect, therefore, no relationship is perfect. So, here are some tips for improving your relationship.

1. Listen.

I know what you're thinking. "Why is she stating the obvious?" Well, just because you think you are listening to your partner doesn't mean you are actually hearing what they are saying. When you fully listen, ask questions, and finally truly understand the words coming out of their mouth, it can lead to better conversations and more concise communication.

2. Take a few days apart.

Yes, as much as we love our partners, we need time apart. Ever heard the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.", or something like that? Well it is true!!!! Missing each other is a great way to reconnect. It also prevents burn out from seeing each other and only each other.

3. Find a support team.

As awesome as it is to be able to talk to each other about everything, it can get tiring for anyone. Have a small group of friends or family members that you can turn to every once in a while so you aren't constantly loading each other down with your issues. Not every little detail needs to be discussed with each other. Plus, it gives you someone to rant to about your significant other if the need arises.

4. Put away your phones.

When your partner is speaking to you, they should have your undivided attention. Nothing on your phone is as important as what your partner is doing, which is communicating with you. Everything else can be put on hold for a short period. One of the most important things you can do is provide your partner with 100% of your attention when they are speaking.

5. Talk to couples over 65 years of age.

Who better to give relationship advice than someone who has likely been together for 50+ years?? They came from an era when if something was broke, you fixed it, not just throw it away. Even if they have had more than one relationship, they can still give great advice. They have lived a long time and have an abundance of knowledge from years of trial and error.

6. Revisit the questions you asked in the beginning.

"Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?"
"What are you scared of?"
"Do you want children/more children?"

The answers to these questions change over time, so it is important to keep asking them periodically. Openly communicate your wants, needs, dreams, etc with your partner and allow them to do the same with you over the years. Help each other meet those goals or have those dreams and aspirations become reality.

7. Find 10 things you really love about them and tell them.

Everyone needs reassurance. Everyone should feel appreciated. It shouldn't be that difficult to pick out 10 things you love about your partner. 

Examples:
"You're beautiful/handsome."
"You are a wonderful mother/father to our child(ren)."
"You work so hard for our family."

8. Stop nagging.

Let's face it, at some point or another we all nag. Well, stop it. Stop picking away at the small issues. Figure out what the bigger issues are and address them instead of doing this nagging crap.

9. Get over the need to be right.

You are not always right. Admitting when you are wrong is definitely a skill worth learning and valuing. As much as we hate to admit it, we can be wrong and that is perfectly okay and acceptable. Learn to admit that.

10. Take care of yourself. Know what you need then ask for it.

If you do not feel good about yourself inside and out, then your relationship will suffer from it. If it is something you are needing from your partner, ask for it. Discuss it. Your partner is a human being. They do not have super mind reading powers. They need verbal communication from you.

Obviously these are not all the tips that help relationships, but these are a few good starting places. Every relationship will have hard times. What matters is how you handle those hard times so you make it through them to enjoy the great times and memories ahead. Once you're past the bad, do not hold on to it. Leave it where it belongs, in the past. It is one of the only ways that you will be happy in the present and in the future.